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Infuse your life with action. Don’t wait for it to happen. Make it happen. Make your own future. Make your own hope. Make your own love. And whatever your beliefs, honor your creator, not by passively waiting for grace to come down from upon high, but by doing what you can to make grace happen… yourself, right now, right down here on Earth.
I was laughing to the point of wetting myself.
Not an overly unusual moment for me, I laugh a lot when I’m alone.
I’m a funny guy.
One of my Millennial kids walks into the room. She looks at me puzzled.
“What’s so darn funny dad?”
Wiping a tear from my eye, “You are. Well…you and your older siblings.”
She gives me her famous stoic expression.
“And you’re laughing at us…why?”
The giggles start again. It was her expression that made my train of thought even more humorous, her display making my point.
“Because your generation complains about Adulting as if it was an alternative form of existence…like it’s a punishment rather than a fact of life.”
For some odd reason, she decided to turn and walk out of the room without further comment.
…and I laughed even harder.
Adulting Is Fun—Or Least It Should Be
Becoming an adult is fun.
You may argue that point, but in my opinion, if you’re not having fun, you’ve gotta be doing something wrong.
All the lessons about this process should already be inside your brain.
When you were little, life was blissfully simple. If you were hungry, you ate—thirsty, you drank, and if you got tuckered out, well, you went to sleep.
It wasn’t complicated.
Life wasn’t a web of agendas to us kids. We played and laughed and when someone was mean to us, more often than not, we freely forgave them. This was usually so we could get back to the games we were playing.
So what happened?
What contaminated our hope and the good things we thought of people?
The world didn’t really change as much as our perspectives did. Much of the same crap today was happening then. The difference is, somewhere alone the line we got exposed to the shadows, to the agendas and the selfishness.
It started to crush us.
The goodness is still there, BTW, if you take the time to look.
Kind people still exits in the world. Forgiveness still exists. Compassion still exists.
You can still find love.
Yet for some reason, a large part of society is bound and determined to drag the rest of us down. My theory is because they can’t figure out how to be happy themselves.
That’s it—if you’re miserable, hit the person to the right and make them miserable also.
If any of this sounds (or feels) familiar, I have a simple question:
Would you like to change it?
Would you like to learn simple shifts in perspective that will help melt the ice from your heart and put a spring back in your step?
Adulting Is Fun When You Plan For Your Future
Consider where you are, right now in life.
Hopefully, you’re in a good place.
What I’m about to share will help you regardless, but for those who are struggling, especially so.
You cannot change what’s already happened to you, but you can plan for your future.
This is about shaping your life.
By understanding and applying simple principles, you’ll gain more control over your environment. You can instantly make improvements in both the workplace and your personal relationships.
#1 Live your life and leave the monkeys where the monkeys belong.
We all have people who hold sway and influence in our lives. That’s not a bad thing. What is bad, is when we live our lives by other people’s definitions and personal expectations.
That goes doubly so when those expectations and definitions are diametrically opposed to your own.
This is your life, not theirs.
That statement isn’t rebellion, it’s just a fact.
When all is said and done, you are responsible for your decisions and actions, not someone else. Family and friends will come and go over the span of your life—but you will always have to live with yourself.
You have to look at yourself in the mirror every day.
Don’t live a life of regret.
#2 Don’t assume the worst.
For some stupid reason, we as human beings tend to remember the bad more readily than the good. It’s a shame, but true.
You also disrupt and disturb your own life when you start attaching bad intents to people’s actions.
First off it’s nearly impossible to accurately discern someone’s intent, so you’ll likely be wrong.
More importantly, you never know the full weight or complexity of the circumstances and life experiences that bring about a particular action.
You may be pissed off at someone swerving in front of you during rush hour traffic…but what if there was a mother in labor within that car, or a wounded child? What if it’s a frantic parent trying to get to an emergency room? Would that make a difference to you?
You truly never know, so why not give the benefit of the doubt?
The other part of assuming the worst tends to create a victim mindset, which is always bad for you. You want to be empowered, not helpless.
The key here is simple: don’t be offended & don’t take it personal.
Taking offense doesn’t make you a victim, it just makes you an ass.
Be positive. Be happy. Let it go.
#3 Look forward, not back.
Dwelling on things is never healthy. I know this for a fact—because this is something I still struggle with at times.
I hold myself to a high standard of behavior…and I’m not very good at it.
Let mistakes and bad choices go.
That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t apologize if you should apologize.
It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t make restitution for your deeds if that’s what required.
If you need to ask forgiveness, then do it.
Just understanding a simple two-step process:
1) If it’s your fault, apologize and move on.
2) If it’s not your fault, just move on.
No one’s perfect.
That’s not an excuse, it’s a fact.
You’re not an exception to the rule, cupcake.
#4 If you can’t swim, get out of the damn pool.
We all experience loss and hurt at different times of our lives.
This is when caution should be used, as well as a measure of wisdom.
Hurt can consume you if not addressed.
Some believe a temporary problem should be solved with a permanent solution.
No. No. No. NO!
I have buried many people in my life, from best friends and mentors to the dearest of family and the smallest of children. Everything from cancer to suicide has plagued my life and I say this with all the passion of my soul:
If you’re hurting so bad that you have to be alone…you probably shouldn’t be alone.
When you’re in a bad place, don’t put yourself in an even worse situation.
Address your pain.
Accept it and let it happen with someone who cares about you.
When my mother was killed, I didn’t mourn for nearly a year.
My wife and friends were so worried, they bought me and Uncle Bob (my mom’s only brother) tickets for a gambling trip to Wendover, Nevada. I’m not a drinker, smoker or gambler…but I was that night. With my uncle as my protector, I was able to cry, scream and talk out my emotions around strangers that would never see me again.
That trip allowed me to start healing.
There’s also a book I cannot recommend enough because it’s saved my life and has helped me let go of the emotions killing me over time. It’s called THE EMOTION CODE.
Death and betrayal will come to you in life.
Rise above the situation and find happiness.
#5 Stop cheating yourself.
Do you tend to choose the easy path?
You’re not alone.
Most of the human race would support you.
Trouble is, the easy path isn’t always the right path.
What’s worse, you may be cheating yourself of vital experiences and opportunities for growth. Opportunities that would improve your life as a whole, develop character, hone skills or even help you discover new talents.
Stretch your wings and take chances.
Make it a challenge every so often to do something beneficial that you’re scared to do.
Maybe that’s public speaking, asking someone special out on a date or even asking for that deserved promotion at work.
Don’t cut corners.
All you’re doing is training yourself to be ordinary and average.
Consider creating ‘value’ in your life instead.
It’s All Up To You
This isn’t new information.
You’re not the first person to experience these challenges in life.
This is an adventure, so treat it like one!
Not only are the possibilities endless when planning your future—you get to choose what you do next.
Where would you like to go? What would you like to see?
Who would you like to be?
This is why I laugh.
It’s so crazy to look at a brilliant generation complaining about the natural events of life.
Many Millennials seem to be missing the point.
Your life can be whatever you decide it to be.
No one’s stopping you.