Labor is not as bad as it’s cracked up to be. Sure, it hurts like hell. But then it’s over. What you should really worry about are the next eighteen years—they’re painful in a much slower way, like peeling a huge adhesive bandage off your brain, cell by cell.
– Cathy Crimmins
“The Mom Code” is a very real and sacred thing.
It silently presides over our interactions with other mothers to keep peace and harmony (or at the very least; ‘tolerance’) between us, in the face of our differences.
It is with pain and concern that I have noticed a dip in the respect and understanding level for the “Mom Code”.
So, as a friendly reminder, I thought I’d post a few of the most important rules in “Mom Code” for those who may have forgotten or missed them…….
Rule #1 – Always back up / Stay out of the way of a mom’s attempts to discipline her child.
When her kid feeds the cat poo in the sandbox to his little brother, it’s her show. Whether you agree with her methods or not, you’re on HER side. She could be a “I honor my child’s wild side” type mom, a “I can’t do this right now…! I’m just going to drink my coffee and glare at him!” mom, or a “Oh no you did not! I am gonna whoop your little butt! Run kid run!” kind of mom. YOU DO NOT BUTT INTO HER BUSINESS with a better idea or comments on what the kid really deserves for their crime.
Rule #2- You do not comment on another mom’s appearance unless you are telling her she looks fabulous.
When she shows up for the play date looking like she was run over by a lawnmower, you are to smile a genuinely ‘happy to see you!’ smile, and pass her the donuts. The lawnmower is headed to your house next.
Rule #3 – You DO NOT under ANY circumstances give someone else’s kid a noise maker or battery operated toy.
Drums, Dora dolls, action figures that talk, cars that make siren or motor sounds, whistles, clappy hands, party poppers and those stupid curly whistl-y things! This is an often ignored rule. But when the whistle comes home to your house, remember the electric guitar you gifted her child before sending the friendship ending text message. Karma defends the code, my friends.
Rule #4- The state of another mom’s house is something to be understanding about. (See ‘Golden Rule’)
If you sit on her couch and see the corner of a banana peel sticking out from under the cushion, you push it back in discreetly or pretend you don’t see it. You do not pull it out in front of her. If her little boy is potty training and the side of the toilet seat has a yellow stripe on it, pull out one of the baby wipes you have handy, and wipe it off before using the toilet, or hold it till you get home. Leave her alone about it. She knows how gross he is. If her dishes are piled higher than Everest, and you find her crying when you stop by, unbury her coffee maker, make enough for both of you, and pull out the cookies you were nice enough to bring for her. Once again, Karma is a personal friend of our precious code.
Rule#5 What happens between mom’s, STAYS between mom’s.
If you see her throw away a gift her kid got her, you back up her story when she tells the kid a monster took it. When her kid senses she’s eating a cookie and comes to beg her for it, you say “Thanks for holding that for me” and you take the cookie till her kid goes away, and then you give it back to her. When the ugly porch decoration her brother in law gave her for her anniversary, ‘falls’ off the deck and shatters, you help her clean it up, and then you take that memory to your grave.
This is the mom code.
Respect the code!
We need it.
We want it.
We live it.
Let’s stay united.